They can refer you a local psychologist who can then refer you on to the Gender Clinic. Physically transitioning begins at your local GP. Why not ask opinions from friends and family to make them feel included? 6. I went from Lois to Lewis… not much of a change there! Some people want to change theirs to something completely different. But do take your time in choosing a name! It could be something similar to your original name, to make it easier for others (and yourself) to adjust. You may have a nickname, or you may be happy with your birth name and not feel the need to change it at all – if you have a gender-neutral name, that’s ideal! If you do want to change it however, you can do this for around £30 via deed poll online.
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My first thought was that ‘I’m male’… Only later in life did it hit me that in order to ‘live in society as male’ I’d have to change my name. You are who you feel you are, regardless of the physical. Not everyone wants to medically transition of course. As soon as I discovered that I was trans, I wanted to snap my fingers and be fully transitioned! The reality is it can take a few years to get hormones and surgery. It’s not only people you need to be patient with – it’s the whole journey. Even some of my best friends struggled with calling me by my new name and male pronouns at first. And if they don’t, maybe they’re not worth being in your life. Other people may think you’re confused – when really, it’s them who are confused! Further down the line when those around you see how much more comfortable and confident you are since transitioning, they’ll surely realise that this was right for you. The hope is that those who know you the best will realise you’re being true to yourself. Not everyone is going to understand straight away. You have to prepare yourself for some not-so-positive reactions. By introducing positive representations of trans people via vlogs and films, you’re showing them that transitioning can lead to a happy, healthy life. If those who care about you react negatively, it may be because they’re scared for you. Consider referring them to videos of trans people and educational sites. Try to remain calm and explain yourself as best you can. It also means you can do a bit of a ‘Q & A’, because there will be many questions!Įqually, if the thought of being in the spotlight is daunting, just tell one person at a time – whatever feels right. Okay, so it doesn’t have to be as formal as a ‘meeting’… but gathering your family (or close friends) together to explain your situation means you don’t need to go through the nerve-wracking process as many times. I got chatting with some inspirational people and, ultimately, it feels great to have a support network from the off. The tiny Northern town I come from doesn’t have any trans support groups – in fact, most residents probably don’t know what the word ‘transgender’ means! Luckily, I discovered a whole community of gender variant individuals online.
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There is a multitude of vlogs on YouTube and loads of support groups on Facebook, full of people eager to make new friends and talk all things trans. It’s good to chat with other trans folk and what better way to do this than from the comfort of your own home. You should feel good in knowing that you’ve figured out the root of the problem – it’s all uphill from here. We’re all different in our own right and we should embrace those differences. It took me time to realise that being transgender didn’t make me any less of a guy, or more importantly, any less of a person. So I bottled everything up throughout high school and college. I used to be really embarrassed of feeling like a boy when my body disagreed. They say ‘how can others love you when you don’t love yourself?’ It can be hard enough just to accept yourself, never mind love yourself! But self-acceptance is the first step towards living your life authentically.
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I don’t pretend to be an expert on trans issues. I’m an ambassador for All About Trans and patron for the National Diversity Awards. My work has featured on BBC3, Latest TV, The Guardian, DIVA Magazine and more. I’ve worked with Hollyoaks, Lucky Tooth Films, Channel 4 and All About Trans.
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I’m co-creator of the My Genderation documentary project, telling the stories of the trans community.Ĭoming out is different for everyone, all I can do is draw from my own experiences and if these nuggets of advice help just one person then my job is done! I love creating comedy sketches and films, writing, directing and acting in them. I’m passionate about seeing more trans representation in the media. I’m Lewis Hancox – filmmaker, comedy writer, aspiring actor and a transgender advocate.